Holyyy Shi...Jagr receives NHL reminder.

Dear Mr Jagr,
I hope this letter finds you in good health after that hit you received courtesy of Mr. Ovechkin in the Olympic games. If it doesn't, I wouldn't be surprised. You probably don't remember me. In fact, we've never met... which is why you probably never noticed, but during your tenure as a New York Ranger, you and I never really got along. No matter, that's water under the bridge at this point...(I'd prefer we kept it that way).

In case you're thinking of making a storybook NHL comeback, I want to take this opportunity to point out that the aforementioned hit was a reminder of how much the NHL has changed since your heydays. In fact, as you may remember from your last season, the NHL is quite different and it is indeed quite common for players to be blindsided at open nice and recieve shots to the head from a leaping NHL posterboy that is notorious for leaving his feet on checks. Repurcussions? No, unfortunately...not for him anyway; you however could find yourself the winner in a sweepstakes for a free CAT scan though.

What's that? What if you're more ornery than we all remember and decide you to handle things yourself with some good old frontier style justice? Not likely, I'm afraid...you'd have about .5 seconds to grab on and start swinging before a teammate or several teammates and appointed bodygaurds came to his rescue. In fact your only recourse might be to grab your knee, writhe in pain, start screaming "MY KNEE, MY KNEE!!! I WAS A LEGEND!" and don't stop till he's suspended for about 2 games. Huh? "Intent to injure" should gain a longer suspension? *Snicker* You'll have to excuse me... You'll find that according to the reinterpretations of the NHL rulebook, you were unfortunately posing a threat and asking for that kind of hit, by simply being on the ice at the same time. I know it must sound a little far fetched... but please keep in mind that these interpretations come from the same office that brought expansion teams to most unlikely of places and changed the intepretations on the fly in the middle of the playoffs, because another posterboy goalie didn't like a stick being waved in front of him.

Considering the aforementioned facts, I would urge you to enjoy your KHL based retirement, the money that comes with it, your health and status as a legend in the NHL.

Regards,
J_Undisputed

The Russian Is Coming!

A little luck and The Rangers pick a young superstar.

So tonight we were treated to the NHL entry draft -- straight from beautiful Columbus, OH - home of the Blue Jackets and shamed-former-fired Flyers coached Ken Hitchcock.

With the New York Rangers in a paltry 17th pick in the first round, we got our hands on GM Glen Sather's first pick of all of the first-rounders, Alexei Cherepanov - controversial and straight from the Russian hockey league -- home of Alexander Ovechkin and Evgeni Malken.

It may be a year before he skates as a Ranger at MSG, as he's promised his Communist home team at least another year - also made difficult with the ongoing negotiations between the Russians and the NHL. His agent is reassuring the press that he'll be here sooner.

Don't know much about this 18-year old kid, the upside is a world-class talent surpassing more recent trades from Russia, someone who will fit into the European-friendly Ranger lockerroom; the downside is he has a crappy work ethic -- another lazy one, being referred to as 'brilliant but aloof." Nothing worse than a kid who doesn't honor the game - a punk! But...Sather had taken four separate trips scouting Cherepanov personally. As a developing prospect, this could lead to a wonder kid for the Blueshirts. The Dark Ranger was told that Cherepanov was the New York Rangers' first pick and vice versa. The risk is minimal providing the Russians let him play for New York.

In other trade news, last year's #1 pick and this year's #8 pick- Eposito - is now a Pittsburgh Penguin - giving Pittsburgh one of the youngest and dangerous roster of developing and world-class forwards in the entire league. The Dark Ranger fears that Pittsburgh will an enormous team this and many seasons to come.

Free agent bonanza approaching in one week. Wait. July 1. I also hear Sather left a $12-million, 3-year contract offer for Nylander -- take it or leave it. Woh.

tdr