The Dark Ranger: Unanimous! Lundqvist Demoted to "Pauper"

Bio of TDR

TDR is a working professional in entertainment and is obsessed with the game of hockey. More fourteen years ago, this site emerged as a means (or an outlet) to tell some truth'isms about the game post-lockout, rather than the crud fed to us through knuckleheads like Jimmy Dolan and his lemmings universe. Today, there are a hundred Rangers sites and is thankful and grateful to all those that have come after him, but honorable thanks go to his fellow Dark-writers, Graying Mantis and J_Undisputed. And "Let's Go Rangers!"

Bio of General Ganz

General Ganz is a cynical yet well-informed student of the human spirit. He's a professional of sorts, with a post-graduate education, some experience working in real companies, and some limited athletic ability. The total small package. He got picked on a fair bit as a kid, and he experienced his first human-non-relation kiss in his teens. He also grew up on the other side of the tracks, thereby helping to cultivate a healthy contempt for dreamers and optimists whose rosy upbringing gave them something to smile about, even when "life produced lemons." Like it or not, his only mission is to point out the potholes you're lucky enough to miss on your drive to work. To find the blemish on your daughter's carefully-stitched (and not-yet-paid-for) wedding dress. To take that little smidgen of hope that your favorite hockey teams fill you with, and pour orange paint on it. Oh, and he is a Blueshirts fan, and takes most of his fashion direction from Ron Duguay (whose name he dropped as a way to close the deal on that first kiss).

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Unanimous! Lundqvist Demoted to "Pauper"

The jury has reached a verdict.

Formerly known as "King" Henrik Lundqvist and subsequently hailed as "Prince" Henrik Lundqvist, this starting New York Ranger goalkeeper is now being made fun of by his former Swedish teenage hockey comrades. This comes as a huge disappointment overall to the Gästriklands Ishockeydomareklubb club, so famous for developing future hockey players and great huggers.

Fellow New York Ranger Sean Avery, unfamiliar with the custom of Swedes and their habitual hugging, rejected Lundqvist's need for a hug post the Blueshirts devastating loss to Montreal yesterday. Most of the team felt the same, with the exception of Colton Orr, Marcel Hossa and Petr Prucha who happily copped a feel from one of People Magazine's Sexiest.

The Olympic gold-winning goaltender for the Swedes, once celebrated for greatness and Swedish heirarchy has been dubbed 'rich and overrated' for the time being - and more importantly, unanimously demoted to the undesirable title of 'Pauper' throughout the blogosphere, first nominated by Scotty Hockey and supported by The Ranger Pundit. Others in support of this disgrace are here.

tdr

4 comments:

Woodside AcresThursday, February 21, 2008 9:57:00 AM
Haha I put up a whole Lundqvist piece today. I guess everyone has the same idea: what the hell happened? This weekend will be very telling as I could see him getting both starts.
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jbThursday, February 21, 2008 10:52:00 AM
The Prince is dead. Long live the Pauper? I think every pro athlete chokes once in awhile, unless your name is Tiger. When you're a goalie the choking is very public. I can't remember Lundqvist ever having an obvious choke-job, so he's allowed one.

But just like a long time pro-golfer can suddenly develop the yips, or a pitcher can't find the strike zone, the metal game is 90% of pro sports. So it will be extremely interesting to see if the Prince can climb back on his throne.
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The Dark RangerThursday, February 21, 2008 11:05:00 AM
Here's hoping. I like the guy and his determination - what other goalie pre-season ever announces to the press that he intends to play every game throughout the season? Maybe this is precisely the problem.

This weekend, Pucks, will answer it all -- I wonder if Renney will start Valiquette!!? That would be the first-Renney 'bitch-slap' to a major player this season.
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AnonymousFriday, February 22, 2008 2:43:00 PM
I gave the Prince his name as I deemed he was not ready for Kingdom. However, I am not ready to toss him over the side. When a team performs as it did in blowing a five goal lead there is only one place to put the blame and that is on coach clueless. I've said it before and I will say it again, this team is going nowhere with this clueless coaching staff.The core of this team has been Lundqvist, Jagr and Avery. Avery is the only one living up to the bargain and he soon may be traded.
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