The Dark Ranger: The New Jersey Devil Caught, NYR 2, NJ 1. SO

Bio of TDR

TDR is a working professional in entertainment and is obsessed with the game of hockey. More fourteen years ago, this site emerged as a means (or an outlet) to tell some truth'isms about the game post-lockout, rather than the crud fed to us through knuckleheads like Jimmy Dolan and his lemmings universe. Today, there are a hundred Rangers sites and is thankful and grateful to all those that have come after him, but honorable thanks go to his fellow Dark-writers, Graying Mantis and J_Undisputed. And "Let's Go Rangers!"

Bio of General Ganz

General Ganz is a cynical yet well-informed student of the human spirit. He's a professional of sorts, with a post-graduate education, some experience working in real companies, and some limited athletic ability. The total small package. He got picked on a fair bit as a kid, and he experienced his first human-non-relation kiss in his teens. He also grew up on the other side of the tracks, thereby helping to cultivate a healthy contempt for dreamers and optimists whose rosy upbringing gave them something to smile about, even when "life produced lemons." Like it or not, his only mission is to point out the potholes you're lucky enough to miss on your drive to work. To find the blemish on your daughter's carefully-stitched (and not-yet-paid-for) wedding dress. To take that little smidgen of hope that your favorite hockey teams fill you with, and pour orange paint on it. Oh, and he is a Blueshirts fan, and takes most of his fashion direction from Ron Duguay (whose name he dropped as a way to close the deal on that first kiss).

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The New Jersey Devil Caught, NYR 2, NJ 1. SO

Breaking news that the once rumored monster that roams The Pine Barrens, a.k.a The Jersey Devil, has been caught and tamed and now housed in a brand new facility in the middle of a dump of a city, a.k.a The Prudential Center/Newark.

The Rangers, of New York, crossed state lines to shutdown this Devil, shame it and suppress it's appetite by whipping it six times. Though the Beast remains a threat to all, and especially the mortal Rangers, it is the first time in 15 years these Devil catchers have been able to beat The Devil himself at every encounter in one season.

The people of New York can now grow the barley, seed the corn and drink the meed in peace knowing The Beast is in containment. Though still a threat, there are well documented diseases associated with this monster; one should dread a case of "parisse" or "elias", or the lethal "hanus-Brodeur", also strangely named 'Marty.'. If you come into contact with any of these bumps on the skin or anyone sympathetic with the treatment of the wretched monster, laugh at them in public and call them names, such as 'Gomez' or 'Rafalski' to get under their skin.

Do not fret, they will know the sins of sinners - they will soon come to know that supporters of 25 dollar parking are abusive folk and not worthy of social recognition. While you are at it, strike them down with a club or kick at their shins. This will remind them they are the lowest of society and it's charms.

The Devil will remain beaten, so no worries, folks!

TDR

4 comments:

AnonymousThursday, March 20, 2008 11:09:00 AM
i think the devils r the better team and it surprises me that they have taken all six this season. hey dark, was this blog turned into your D&D heaven? love that little skull guy!
jr
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AnonymousThursday, March 20, 2008 1:24:00 PM
So NJ finally feels how we did against Buffalo last year when Drury planted himself into the crease and waited. I am completely in agreement that Drury is going to be Captain of the ship in due time. Glad the Devil is contained, well until at least next month!
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The Dark RangerThursday, March 20, 2008 1:32:00 PM
Not sure I agree anonymous on them being the better team. When we play well, we are unbeatable. The Devils last night were a victim of that renney defensive lockdown type of play, or rather, the Lou Lamerella (sp?) Approach to NJ. It broke down for a second and enabled Drury to get positioned and bury it. A master at that!

No D and D here either.

Dj...drury is awesome. I said it all along when others condemned him to lacklusterville last fall. He isn't holding his stick too tight and letting the game in. Nigel Dawes now with, I think, 5 out of 7 shootout goals....awesome young guys continue to impress The Dark Ranger!

TDR
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Woodside AcresThursday, March 20, 2008 3:50:00 PM
Solid win last night. Collectively, the Devils are a better team, but on skills, the Rangers are superior. The Devils have nothing to lose and a bunch of second tier players playing above expectations. That's because of great coaching. At the same time, having Parise, Gionta, and Brodeur still doesn't hurt. If the Rangers can continue and roll on all cylinders and get some power play going, they could easily defeat the Devils in a series.
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