Tuesday, April 21, 2009

TSN: Maggie the Monkey picks THE RANGERS

2009 NHL Playoff Picks

Playoff time is here again and TSN's experts are weighing in with their predictions. Front and centre is Maggie the Macaque from the Bowmanville Zoo, who has become a postseason fixture at TSN. This, however, will be Maggie's last season making picks as she is retiring after the playoffs.

In 2003, Maggie quickly became a hero in the hockey world, picking the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim to reach the Stanley Cup Final with the spin of a wheel. Having picked other big winners through three rounds of the playoffs, Maggie enjoyed new-found fame as the sport's wisest prognosticating primate.

Maggie finished 8-7 in last year's playoffs. Maggie picked The New York Rangers to take the first round over the Caps.ee

The Dark Ranger comments: Well, at least there is hope. Thanks for the support monkey-woman. Every broadcaster on TSN has picked the Washington Caps to take the first round of the playoffs, so at the very least we have a Canadian fanbase, albeit a primal one, to push us beyond the bigger gorilla a.k.a. Alex Ovechkin. Last night was a Russian Red Scare and with Korps and Staal groaning "Oh...." over and over this morning to their therapists we can soon begin the re-building process for tomorrow's crucial rematch.

To state we played 'horribly' would be an understatement. We looked like the 'ghost of Renney's past', so hopefully John 'kick-ass' Tortorella will have the much needed effect on the team and, mostly, on how the fans are feeling about the Rangers right about now.

Let's Go Rangers!!!! Let's Go Maggie!!!!



  1. Oh by the way Dark,
    I want that Russian Tinkerbell's head on stick after hearing him and backstrom waited for the Rangers to leave the ice before proceeding to do chest bump over our logo and a mock stick raise at center ice...

  2. Dark And J Undisputed, This guy Ovechkin is becoming a clown.

    Unfortunately the NHL allows his antics to go unquestioned. While others get raked over the coals.

  3. Thanks Kotsy!
    I love the cookie cutter excuses too.
    "Its ok. Hes just this skilled lovable Russian guy who doesnt know any better and likes to have fun...so its cool and not offensive"
    If hes going to make so much money and gain so much notoriety playing a game. You'd think he'd take note of the tradition behind it and all the unwritten rules and follow suit.
    My little conspiracy theory is I feel like Ovechkin is given this pass because he was the backup plan for the league... when no one wants seconds of the crosby BS they've been pushing. All to this inevitable boiling point where they face off for hockesy biggest prize in some kind of cold war revival on ice. I realize crosby is canadian, but he'll be the one the NA people will relate to. Theres 2 ways to create a hero. The first is merit (an a rigged draft) and when that fails you create the Anti-Hero (then make the comparisons). First choice would have been Avery, but they just couldn't control him.

  4. Ovechkin's naive actions are as dirty as anything Sean Avery does with his words...and you don't see refs targeting his actions. Okay, while Avery targets the hockey players on the ice, Ovechkin targets the fans of his adversary. A wonder to watch, but what a d*ck.


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