The Dark Ranger: An Open Letter To Tom Renney

Bio of TDR

TDR is a working professional in entertainment and is obsessed with the game of hockey. More fourteen years ago, this site emerged as a means (or an outlet) to tell some truth'isms about the game post-lockout, rather than the crud fed to us through knuckleheads like Jimmy Dolan and his lemmings universe. Today, there are a hundred Rangers sites and is thankful and grateful to all those that have come after him, but honorable thanks go to his fellow Dark-writers, Graying Mantis and J_Undisputed. And "Let's Go Rangers!"

Bio of General Ganz

General Ganz is a cynical yet well-informed student of the human spirit. He's a professional of sorts, with a post-graduate education, some experience working in real companies, and some limited athletic ability. The total small package. He got picked on a fair bit as a kid, and he experienced his first human-non-relation kiss in his teens. He also grew up on the other side of the tracks, thereby helping to cultivate a healthy contempt for dreamers and optimists whose rosy upbringing gave them something to smile about, even when "life produced lemons." Like it or not, his only mission is to point out the potholes you're lucky enough to miss on your drive to work. To find the blemish on your daughter's carefully-stitched (and not-yet-paid-for) wedding dress. To take that little smidgen of hope that your favorite hockey teams fill you with, and pour orange paint on it. Oh, and he is a Blueshirts fan, and takes most of his fashion direction from Ron Duguay (whose name he dropped as a way to close the deal on that first kiss).

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

An Open Letter To Tom Renney

After a surprising New York Rangers' loss to the Tampa Bay Horrible-Hockey Team, 5-3 last night, in the spirit of directly speaking with members of the Blueshirts - I offer a personal letter to Tom Renney, coach of The New York Rangers, this time in a language that is 'most-appropriate' to how NYR fans are feeling these days.......in Pig Latin:

==========================

Earday Oachcay Omtay Enneyray,

Asway ethay esteemedway oachcay ofway Ethay Ewnay Orkyay Angersray, ouyay avehay away esponsibilityray otay otnay onlyway ethay eamtay andway anagementmay, utbay alsoway otay ethay ansfay. Ethay 5-3 osslay otay Ampatay Aybay astlay ightnay, ethay econdsay orstway eamtay inway ethay NHLAY, isway agictray. Ouryay oachingcay ethodsmay areway agictray. Ethay onlyway opehay asway ethay irdthay eriodpay, utbay ywhay adn'thay ethay Ueshirtsblay ayedplay atway atthay "irdthay eriodpay" evellay omfray ethay eryvay eginningbay?

Ultimatelyway, anotherway osslay orway otway isthay eekway illway anghay onway ouryay ouldersshay, Omtay -- andway erethay isway onay easonray atthay otway 600-oalgay orersscay, away eamtay ofway Allway-Arsstay, away Ezinavay-ominatednay oalkeepergay, away NHLAY-atedhay instigatorway andway away unchbay ofway alentedtay ookiesray ouldn'tshay ebay ickingclay ogethertay. Ethay "orkingway onway eamtay emistrychay" orway ethay "eway ayedplay away eatgray amegay" oundbitesay isn'tway orkingway orfay ouyay anymoreway.

Isthay illway allway estray onway ouryay ouldersshay ymay iendfray. Oonsay ouyay illway onay ongerlay ebay away iendfray ofway ethay eamtay, ethay ansfay, andway areday Iway aysay, anagementmay?

Etgay itway ogethertay obray, asway ouryay avygray aintray aymay ebay eavinglay ethay ationstay.

Incerelysay,
Ethay Arkday Angerray

(The Dark Ranger)

4 comments:

Woodside AcresThursday, January 10, 2008 3:10:00 PM
I think TDR has lost his mind. Quick, we must rescue him! Back to english my friend! Take to alcohol to drown the woes of this team (for lack of a better word) like the rest of us ;)
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The Dark RangerThursday, January 10, 2008 3:35:00 PM
AND NO MORE 'OPEN LETTERS TO..' DARK RANGER...ENOUGH OF THE CRAP!!! Oh, right...that's me.

Therapist?
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AnonymousThursday, January 10, 2008 3:51:00 PM
Hey Dark Ranger. You drinking too much of that cheap Italian wine.
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Loser DomiSunday, January 13, 2008 4:18:00 PM
I like the open letters. Just write them in languages that I can understand, and you'll be fine!
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